2 months later :D

Heyhey!

I'm sorry if there's anyone who comes to read my blog to see if I'm doing well. The thing is (at least so it seems), the better I'm doing the less I post here :/. And now I haven't posted anything forever because it's strange after such long break. This here is a small post so it wouldn't be awkward to write the next one.
The break has been so long because my computer broke down, because summer was fun, and because during the whole summer I didn't have even one day when I didn't have any physical injuries or illnesses so I felt too whiny to write.

Now I'm not whiny at all - I'm still in Estonia, doing the last of my internship at Sparta sportsclub, which I really really enjoy; I've chosen a theme for my BA thesis, which I'll start writing in October and which is due to January; I'm recovering well from all those injuries and illnesses I had during the summer and will run a 10 k competition on Sunday. Right now it's Friday evening, sun is shining and I'm ready to go out for one last light run before Sunday. Tomorrow me an mum (who'll be running on Sunday too) will eat pasta (yep, that's the only thing on my 'to do - list' for tomorrow :D)

I'll write about it all soon! :)

1 month later

Long time no writing, I'm sorry.

But I think with me it's that if I haven't posted anything for a while, then life is just being unusually cool. This time at least it has. My first month in Estonia:

I've been babysitting, horse riding, chilling with my friends, working in the garden, shopping, biking (my mum has the coolest bike!), making pasta (homemade :O), cleaning home, being home, partying, eating, cooking, reading and working out like crazy (a book review about that coming soon!)

I also started with my workplacements, but as that's still quite new, and that there's sooo much to write about, I'll make a separate post for that.
However, that's going to be first in about two weeks, as from tomorrow until the end of next week, I'll be travelling around Estonia - first the summer capital Pärnu and then the opera days in Saaremaa. I'm going with the two best little persons ever - Kristjan and Kaspar - the two boys I'm babysitting, and with their family, and I think, hope and know, it'll be amazing :). Life is pretty awesome when all you have to do all day is play :). And they're really really sweet.
Of course I also have to work on my online internship and (hopefully) work out, but I love these too :).

I've been working out quite hard for three weeks now, and can finally feel how I'm getting strong again, can lift more, manage more repetitions and more sets, run longer, bike faster, and its all really cool. And the almost fit body fits with my Hiiumaa-made tan. Life is good :). (and strawberries ;))

In order not to write another hippie-post, where I'm so happy and satisfed with everything, I could write about my being stressed. I don't know if it counts, but I can try:

When I thought of coming to Estonia, I kind of imagined some completely carefree life - doing my workplacement and other than that just .. whatever I want to do. But as soon as I arrived, I realized that there's so many people I should see, so many things I have to do and so many places I have to go to. And it's all about  making plans and schedualing my time and..kind of not being in charge of my own time. So I got kind of stressed and freaked out. But actually it's just that dumb - I didnt know how to react to not getting what I had imagined, so I thought I'm stressing, but when I think about it- I enjoy all these activities. And enjoy so much that I even forgot to write my blog and do all other kinds of stuff.

So it Is a hippie-post.
I love life. And so be it.


I'll post some photos, go to sleep, wake up and go training at 7:15, and then'll be on my way to Pärnu! :)

xoxo
(ps. my friend Thomas is at Ibizza and I've never been more jealous :O:/:D)

Lolita Louardes

Kadi-L :)

Master Cave 

Pasta  <3

at the beach with the boys at 3 am

Sunset - Sunrise

Last days in Denmark and East Europe roadtrip

My friend Juhan came to pick me up from Aarhus a week ago. Crazy - he drove all the way trough Eastern Europe and didnt even use the highway in Poland.
However, he was fresh and ready once he arrived to Aarhus, so we did a lot of sightseeing, went to the movies, to bars and pubs and cool places to eat. Was so much fun :).

Then we picked up another Estonian girl and drove all the way back to Estonia. Craaazy trip - we visited Hamburg and Berlin, where I practiced driving a manual car in the centrum, but the other two - Juhan and Liisa were brave. Liisa was happy not to be sleepy anymore, and Juhan was only worried about the car. Anyway anyhow, I managed. Then continued driving on the highways trough Germany and Poland, which took us (even though driving at least 140km/h most of the time) the whole night and half of the  following day. And about 2 liters of coffe for me.
Lithuania was a bit better, Latvia seemed almost home, and then Estonia, where we had to drop Liisa off to Viljandi before continuing for the capital Tallinn, the distances seemed sooo small and everything was chill and cool. And the amazing feeling when you finally start understanding the signs, posters, places, money, language, uuuuh..felt amazing after all this crazyness on our roadtrip.

Today I've been sleeping and unpacking - settling down at mum's, where I am going to live during the summer to do my workplacement at Sparta sportsclub. Looking so much forward! And it's so nice to be home. Later tonight I am going to see my bestest best best friend ever - Miili, who I missed even more than home :), chill with Juhan, and tomorrow we'll drive to the island where I come from - Hiiumaa. Thats the real home. (oooh, life is amazing and me happy :D)
We'll celebrate midsummers eve and Juhans birthday, then I'll do a bit of babysitting, a bit of resting and relaxing, and then come back to Tallinn for my internship.



Also, I miss running or any kind of moderate/high intensity exercise like craazy. Resting, chilling, eating and drinking are only nice if I do them sometimes, and between all the other stuff I do. However, if they become what life is made of, it feels quite..uncool. So I am very motivated to do as much training as possible and to start my internship as a trainer and a nutritionist :).

If someone asked me right now to name one bad thing about my life, I couldn't :).

Have fun and happy summer :)
xoxo

life changes

Heyhey :),

Life changes. So much and all the time.
Last week I was so busy changing it, that I didn't even really noticed, how it all happened. But by now it's so different.
From Monday to Wednesday last week I finished up the marketing plan, which was the final thing I had to do for school before the start of the internship and then writing the Bachelor thieses. Thursday was a training/cleaning/washing clothes day, Friday and Saturday were full-day-working days and the night between I packed all my stuff in the apartment. Saturday night was a party at work, and on Sunday we did the final cleaning in my apartment, moved all the stuff out, and moved myself over to a friends place, where I am now going to wait until the car arrives that takes me home to Estonia. :).
So suddenly I am really done with schoolsfuff, don't have an apartment in Aarhus anymore, dont live at Rundhoj kollegiet anymore and the saddest - am not going to the halfmarathon afterall :(. My shins wouldn'tcouldn't and I guess running myself to an almost invalid is quite stupid, when it happens for the first time, but on the second time it'd already be ridiculos. :/ :D

I dont think the changes are bad. I planned them, I made them happen and they are really cool. But it's just starnge how it happened so fast..like..never again I am going to go to the apartment where I've been living for the last 2,5 years. And never again am I going to go to classes in the school where I've been going to for the last 2 years, since it moved there. And besides that I have a bad cold :/.
However, I am at my friends place that is so nice and so close to everything and I have nothing that I need to do besides working and waiting for going to Estonia, so I can just stay here, treat my cold, rest a bit and adjust with the changes :).

After that it'll be a roadtrip to Estonia. Looking forward and life is cool :).
Happy new week to everyone :)

xoxo
me

Crazy plans. (and Oh I love running)

A couple of weeks ago I wrote that I have some really exciting plans, but I never dared to write what they are. Probably it is just exciting for me, but on the 9th of June, I want to run Aarhus halfmarathon again.
Actually I haven't signed up yet. The last day to sign up is the 31st of May and it won't get any more expensive, so I figured that just in case I see how the training goes and then make my decision. I wasn't planning to run at all. But then some friends of mine asked if I would like to run in their company's clothes, that I'd get to keep. And nothing better than new clothes for free, right? :)

As you might remember, last year I ran it with shin splint and ended up being unable to walk for a week and limping around for about 4 weeks. And then it took me 6 months before I could make my first runningsteps on a threadmill again.
But. Here I am, doing that again. :).

Anyway. Somewhere in the end of April I started to do more endurance training. But as my schedule was so tight already, the only way to fit more training in, was to start sleeping less. And honestly..then..being out of shape and tired and running these 10-12km on hard ground..ugh. It wasn't nice. and it actually made me quite misrable. And physical activity, that is supposed to reduce stress and give you more energy and make you more happy and all, ended up being a huge stressor. I lost the motivation but didn't want to admit it.
Besides that the days got warmer and warmer, so I also had to be sweaty and red :/.
..Completely understand the people who associate physical activity with bwing tired and sweaty and that it's difficult and not cool. :/

But once I realized that that's what I feel, I also realized, that it's actually not like me to feel like that. So I must be doing something wrong.
Exercising is not ment to be hard or boring. Of course, sometimes you might push yourself to the limits, but that's the cool part :P.
So I decided to forget about all this planned boring training, and decided that if my body gets enough of any kind of training and enough rest, it will be fine.

And I returned to my favorite kind of traing - cross-running (if that can be a word :D). I jog to a nearby forest, start the time, and then spend an hour running up and down the hills, jumping over random stuff, going fast and going slow. The only rule is that I can't walk. If I run uphill and get so tired that I can't take no more, then I have to run sideways or down, until I'm ready to try again. And when an hour has passed, then I jog the 6-7km back home.
The thing is - once I have been running with a pulse around 200bpm, uphill from a hill with ca 60-70 degrees angle; then running with a pulse around 160-170bpm and long slow hills of ca 45 degrees really ain't nothing but a peanut (as the guys from the gym would say :)). And by the end I have spend the amount of time with quite simliar pulse to what I think it's going to be in the half-marathon.
The cool part is, with that kind of training, that it is so challenging. and rewarding. I'm the kind of girl who just can't say no to a challenge. I remember, my brother used to use it when I was small - whenever he wanted me to do something I didn't want to do, then he only had to call it a competition or be like "I bet you can't do it", and I would be doing it immediately.
Now, that I run in the hills and find one, that I just cant get up from with the first try, and feel almost passing out, when I finally do, then later, when I see the same hill again, it looks like a challenge. It is there and I just can't not try again. And just not to "lose", I always manage it way better. The second time is easy :).
Love it.


I guess the point of this post is to remind everyone, that being physically active and exercising, doesn't need to be hard and difficult. It can be, if you want, but it's not a must. It should just be on a suitable level - challenging, interesting, something you really like and what makes you happy. And you don't need to be passing out by the end (but again, you can if you want ;D), instead you should be looking forward to the next time. It should be fun :)
like that

:)

That was that. Now I shall return to writing my last assignment - a Marketing Plan for a private nutrition counselling business in about 10 years in Estonia. Oh it's cool to dream :). (and run :))

Have fun!
Kirsi

unless this teacher is in secret very smart. - maybe he is making us pissed and boredn and fighting each other on puprose, so we would just turn ourselves off, start thinking of our own things, and come up with something brilliant.

..well anyway, it is not helping my blog to be about health :D

Grown up people are just like kids. They just make less sense in their behaviours and statements.

maybe that's why I like kids, animals, and disabled people - they are easy and sincere :)

loves of my life

..are these c.e.p compression leg sleeves.
I bought them about two weeks ago and have been using them mostly for running, but also in strength training.
Basically, the compression is supposed to increase blood circulation, thereby supporting the muscles and helping them to recover faster.
I bought them, because I had heard and read so much good about them from people who are using them, also from people who have problems with shins like I have. And, obviously, because you could get them in pink :). (I actually had to go trough three shops to get the pink ones :/. ...and then my teacher made fun of them as soon as I showed up with them to school's weight room :D)
I didn't know if it is just placebo the people are feeling, or is there a scientific reason why they could work. Personally, I don't care, as long as it works, it's fine.
But why they could work is
-obviously compression increases blood circulation that increases the speed and therefore amount of blood and nutrients moving to and from the muscles. Therefore the increased working capacity and faster recovery statement.
Even if the compression from the c.e.p. leg sleeves dont, in reality, result in physiologically noticable benefits,( I am not saying that it doesn't, just there is no scientific studies) at least it keeps the legs warm, so we can feel the "difference".
Also, while running, there's a lot of damage to the muscles and bones caused by the shock and vibration in the legs. These leg sleeves, however, support the muscles and keep them "in place", thereby preventing the wear and tear.

And my own "logical" explanaition for shin splints: if the treatment is R.I.C.E (rest, ice, compress, elevate) - and it helps in the R and C, then it already does 50% of the treatment, kind of for me, and therefore it must be good for my shins....:D, riiight?

So for me they work, as I have decided to believe that they do. I can feel their effect and can run longer, faster and more often than I used to. And I still haven't even noticed my shin pains. Just like in love in general, I believe, my love is the best and works the best. And it makes me happy :). (or is it all the running I'm doing :), don't care :)).


But. Right now I'm at school and can't really focus on writing. I hate when teachers let you read some long texts and then when you afterwards go to the class, would just repeat everything the book said and nothing else. I find it unfair and it makes me feel being made fun of. They use my time on common-sense-like-texts TWICE. uuuurghhhh. And if I'd skip the class I would feel bad, as I'm not doing what I am supposed to do.
I know it's just my little nerdish selfish me being disappointed, but then again, I also think that it is a basic respect thing not to waste other peoples time.

I stop before I go helt amok ;D


more about c.e.p. products:
http://www.cepcompression.com/

(there's going to be a big fight in my class in max 5 minutes, everyone's going crazy and angry :O)

ps.

..and that I can go running at 9 pm with shorts and t-shirt and still be warm.
:) that's my kind of thing

and not that that'd be not enough, I just discovered that school ends 4 hours earlier than expected tomorrow.

hiiii :)

good night

:)

Once again, I've been postponing writing here. There's so many things I'd want to write about and I have so many ideas, but I'm always waiting for the perfect moment, when I'd have enough time and peace and calm and quiteness.
BUT. Today right here right now, I just want to say that if the sun is out and it's 18 degrees, and I get to ride my bike wearing nothing but jeans, t-shirt and sunglasses; buy fresh potatoes and eat them with cucumber, dill and baked salmon, then I really really really dont know a better place to be.

Life is so amazing. Or spring and summer. Or the good foods that come with them. Or just that you can go running or walking or do whatever outside and it makes you more happy and tanned, not wet, cold and grumpy as it was a few weeks ago.

I also have a new love of my life. Or even two. And some quite exciting plans. And I want to write about all of them. But right now I have to go eat my salmon :D

My last classes of my life ever ever in BA of Global Nutrition and Health are going to be in a week from now, so hopefully I'll find more time to write then.

But as we all know - one good wish changes nothing, one good decision can change everything. So maybe I'll just take the time that I need to do the things I like and want to and won't be waiting for the time just to show up from somewhere.

But for now, it's fresh-potato-cucumber-dill-and-salmon-time. :). Gotta love.

xoxo

P.S. I am sooooo looking forward to my this years' internships and think they'll be great! :P

Body ideals' influence on health behaviour

aka what I found out with the 3-week assignment :) :

According to Pierre Bordieu, body is something more than just our physical body. It is a bearer of status and symbolic value, it is our "physical capital". The "more valuable" the physical capital of a person, the easier it is to convert it to other types of capital like cultural or social capital.

Therefore can body ideals be seen as what is recognized as the highest form of physical capital in our society.

Bordieu's economic way of thinking and seeing every social act directed to maximizing economic and symbolic profit fits well with the modern Western society, which could be said to be directed towards the same things.

However, Bordieu's work has much to do with French class-based society. As social classes are not as important in contemporary Western society, Richard Jenkin's notion on differences between "groups" and "categories" could be more suitable. That basically states that in order to identify ourselves we have to say something about the others. We say who we are trough who we are not. Therefore we categorize others. However, similarity to other people is at least as important. Therefore - a difference between groups and categories. Memebers of groups are aware of their membership and who and what the group is. Categorization, however, is only dependent on the categorizer and often more relevant to him than the one who is being categorized.
Group membership in itself can have a great influence on individual's behaviour and enough to discriminate against other groups.

The many "stakeholders" of an individuals body in our society, keep on making associations between leanness (thin women, strong men), beauty, good personality, high moral and ethical value and good citicens.
And one's social worth is continuoslly evaluated based on one's ability to resist excess. In times of plenty, smaller bodies are idealised, when food is scarce, however, a larger body is idealised.

Therefore, the most valuable physical capital in modern Western Society is a lean body.

In order to be categorized as, or seen as a member of the "healthy"-pretty-good-responsible people, AND maximize the chances of earning all kinds of profits in one's life, one could feel pressured to conform to body ideals. And as the theory sais, discriminate against the ones who are not.

However, an appearance releated goal, especially, when the goal is unhealthily skinny or muscular, (we see that types of bodies in commercials and magazines, so it is possible to have a body like that, right?), can make the outcome more important than our health. Diet and exercise might turn into a simple means to reach the goal appearance.
Eating disorders, exercise dependence, yo-yo dieting, stigmatization of obesity - they are all unhealthy conditions with serious outcomes, and they all have been associated with internalization of the pressure to be thin/muscular etc.
However, by conforming to those ideals, we reproduce them in the society: by buying beauty/diet products for example, we increase their demand on the market; by behaving in a way to reach the goal, we make that behaviour more present. Therefor we increase the pressure to conform with the same ideal for other people in the society and a reciprocal circle forms.

Therefore, both public health campaigns and individual lifestyle councelling should be used in health promotion.
Health professionals should also avoid making decisions about one's health based on his appearnace, promote a healthy body and focus on it's functions and performance, and turn more attention to how we form different health-advises and recommendations, not to always associate fat with bad health and leanness with good. Instead, we could focus on decreasing body fat %, increasing muscle mass (up to a limit), VO2 max, percieved quality of life, decreased stress etc.
And remember that health, just like beauty, comes in all shapes and sizes. :)

.
That was pretty much that. And I really enjoyed writing it :).
k. 

Last week last efforts

(and birthday was so much fun :))


It's been two weeks. I am reading texts like that:

Thus the capital, in the sense of the means of appropriating the product of accumulated labor in the objectified state which is held by a given agent, depends for its real efficacy on the form of the distribution of the means of appropriating the accumulated and objectively available resources; and the relationship of appropriation between an agent and the resources objectively available, and hence the profits they produce, is mediated by the relationship of (objective and/or subjective) competition between himself and the other possessors of capital competing for the same goods, in which scarcity – and through it social value – is generated. The structure of the field, i.e., the unequal distribution of capital, is the source of the specific effects of capital, i.e., the appropriation of profits and the power to impose the laws of functioning of the field most favorable to capital and its reproduction. (Bordieu 1986)

and I dont have much more to say :/

at least it seems, it is going good.

Part 2

Anyway. I am going to stick with “planning” my eating and training. But just so that I’d have time for it all. And of course the money and the bills and my future, but just as much as necessary. So they’d be okay, so that I’d have time to be me and not worry about them :)

I am also going to stick with the time-schedule for the assignment as a guidance, and of course I can write here, what I end up concluding about body ideals and their influence on health behavior, but I can get it done without daily letting the world know, how am I doing with it. That was a stupid idea, sorry.

I did get too crazy with all this. For a while already, struggling between who I felt like and who I thought I somewhy have to be, between “being a health professional” and “being me”, thinking and feeling and finding no balance, ending up eating-training-doing too much or too little (because that’s what we learned in school might happen to people, and then I Thought, it is happening to me, so I Thought I might do it and so i did), looking like neither and +/- 5 kg every second week. Okay, exaggerating again, but to make my point again.
Yeah. I don’t know how writing all this here is going to affect me as a health professional. Or even if it should be here. But of course it should, because the whole story is about me becoming one, and you better know what you preach, right? ;)

So I will stick with planning, but just as some kind of structure. I know I am nerdish and I like to learn and discover and discuss, so of course I write as good of a paper as I can. And I know that I can’t sit down all day, so of course I’ll exercise, but when I feel like doing it and it’s a suitable moment, not when it is time to do it. And I am a human, so obviously I will eat, and eat again when I am hungry again. And when I don’t over or undereat, I will get hungry again after every 2 or 3 hours and eat again, so I don’t have to look at the clock and be like “oh, it’s meal-time”. Daah.

I am Kirsi and I am a health professional. Or at least eager to become one :P

Have fun, be cool and do what you wanna do :).

..And trust yourself enough to know that you wanna do the right things :). And if you go wrong, learn from it and go on :)

See you and happy spring  :P

Time of great self-discovery (AKA What is wrong with me)

This post is going to completely make this blog a blog about me and not a blog about health. But I guess it actually has been that for a long time already.
I don’t even know if I should post it here, but I feel that I want to. So here we go :P

I can’t believe  that I thought I have to think about where should I spend my summer, if I have the  whole summer off. As in - I have 4 moths to do 3 months of internship, but I already found one internship place in Estonia, and was thinking about if I want to do it for the whole summer, if I take another one after that one, which could be done online, would I wanna come back to Denmark to do it; should I find another one somewhere abroad etcetc. I really can’t believe that I ever thought about it. Of course I want to be in Estonia. Daaaah!

So..I figured out what my problem is. :D
I think I took growing up too seriously. I mean – I’ve always more like felt what I feel and who I am, not thought about it.
But then I moved to Denmark, started living far from friends, family, and everything familiar, and went to university to study what? :D – planning.
Of course living on your own requires some planning - going to school and work, training, language school, time, and being  financially independent- everything takes planning…And then I started studying nutrition and health – which was a lot at least on the first year, about making dietary and training plans. So of course I feel quite confused and controversial, when I’ve never been much of a planner and more just went with what feels right. Afterall – I have to trust myself enough to know that what I feel is right, is right. Right?
And then I started studying how to think. I had already became (or already becoming) a great planner – time, training, money-spending-earning plans. I even planned what I eat and when – you know, to know when to buy and make food, but also so it’d be nutritionally balanced and all (what is of course a good thing , but..) and my trainings, just to keep up with it all. And having to think and plan so much, friends became like one of “okay where should I fit that into my plan” and oh that’s going to take money and study-time off. Okay, a bit exaggerated, but just to make my point.
And all my friends back home? I didn’t think about them much. Or of course I did, but..I missed them so much and felt so strange without them, that I had put all those feelings aside. To Think about it: that wasn’t a time to be missing friends or home, I had left home, and now it was a time to “grow up”, “start my own life” and you know..develop and change. So I thought that was just the new me. (or maybe I thought who I ought to be..:D). Anyway, it does make perfect sense that then from time to time, I felt so confused. But then again, I thought that comes with “the grown-up life”. And was wondering, how can everyone put up with that..
But yeah, I was already trying to be a great planner, and then I started learning how to think. Or analyze. At school, I mean. Suddenly there was Anthropology, Psychology, Sociology, Communication, Epistemology, Philosophy of Science, Ethics etcetcetc. So on top of thinking a lot and planning my whole life, I now started to analyze WHY am I doing WHAT I, and Why it all is as it is.
And as soon as we start to measure something, we change it, right? So as soon as I started thinking I was having difficulties with all that “growing up” (:D), I suddenly felt I do have difficulties with it. Uuuuuh.
But actually I had just forgotten to feel. I had put my missing friends and family, my likes and dislike-s, the things that are not practical but always make me happy, aside (Ice cream, for example :P – I love it, but it didn’t fit the plan; and reading novels (L)) and I think I completely (!) forgot, what it was I was doing and what for. I was going to school, because it intersted me. I am eating, because I want to and like to, I am running, because I like to move and how it feels, and I learned Danish to know how to speak it, because I thought that would be so cool (and it is ). But I forgot all that. Because I was practical, you know. And they were just the things I ought to manage well and then I become a good, successful, what I’m ought to be person. And missing someone and being sad or doing bad at something would just be weak and pointless and irrelevant (“for pussys,” I probably thought tho :D. Sorry ) (Yeah yeah, I even wrote a post here, inspired by my anthropology class text, about how it is awful how much attention we turn to “loosers”.I still agree to some point though )

Actually I think I just forgot to feel.
 And that’s how I reached the point where I had to think about, where do I want to spend my summer, if I can spend it anywhere.
:D

Of course I want to be in Estonia. With my family and friends and a language I speak very well and a culture I know and understand and feel, and a weather that makes sense for me and…ooh . I love Estonia. And of course I don’t have to do a 1-moth internship there and then come back to Denmark during the online internship to “be independent and “grow up””. Whooh, it is so crazy how far from wise that approach to it all took me. As if it worked vice versa.

But I am glad I got it all figured out now. Or actually - felt out. It came when I stopped thinking.
I guess (guess, not think or “suggest” ) I just have to remember what I am and what it is I am doing. It is my life and I believe it’s better spent living it, than analyzing what’s wrong with it.
I am Kirsi and I am not good at thinking.
Never have been.

I just know it when I feel it ;).

Day 2 and 3

I'd call them sunshine :)

I forgot to wtrite yesterday. Came home from work at 22:00 and then started Skyping about a possible internship place (was also quite cool :P), and then after doing that, reading some text and having a shower, when I finally remembered, I should write a post, I was already in bed and just couldn't be bothered.

But anyway - I am doing way better with the assignment. I still haven't written basically anything (ups), but I figured out what my research question is, what it means, and how am I going to answer to it. And I have also found good texts for references - gonna go with sociology classics - Bordieu, Focault and Jenkins, so should be safe.
And google :D. but that just to demonstrate "how world is" and what do you see, when you google these "ideal body" or "beautiful body". So I hope noone is going to be upset about that reference either.

training is cool - love my new running shoes and the sunny weather
and eating is good too :D. I have started to have really big breakfasts. Usually I dont do it because I have to bike to school right after and that's 13km uphill, so I really don't feel like eating a lot before. But now that I'm at home, I eat a lot of porridge and a piece of fruit and some yoghurt. It's crazy - i feel how I can focus better and am like more "awake". And I dont have to eat again after like 1h, as I usually do :/.

So me all good for now.

Weekend is going to be filled with working, so I dont know how much time I have to write the assignment, but we'll see.

Right now, I am going to sleeeeeeep :)

Because second conclusion (not of the assignment, but of life):
better wellrested and stupid than smart and tired.

I promise :)

Good weekend!

Day 1

I know if I count the exam days starting from today, then it is not going to be 3-weeks at all, but 16 days instead, but today was the actual starting day, so I'll do it like that, and here we go my first update:

If I'd have to call Day 1 something, I would call it confusion.

It just went wrong. To start with, I sat down and discovered that my computer has stopped working. I am kitty-sitting in an appartment in central Aarhus and apparently the cats (or one of the two, I am pretty sure, I know which one it was), had completely destroyed my charger. So I had to bike all the way home and back, to get my other computer. At that moment, I was really thankful for getting my things stolen last autumn, so I had that other computer at home at all, and that I started using Dropbox after that. Otherwise it could have been pretty bad.
Anyway, I got back with it and started the confusing assignment.
:/
I am still confused, so I am not going to start explaining thoroughly why I got confused, but basically, I have troubles with my research question, what I mean with it, and what the outline that I got approved by my supervisor, would actually include. It seems now that they are all different things and I am not sure how to make it better.
And we only have 1 supervision left and that's pretty much just before handing the paper in, so I can't ask my supervisor if it's ok to change something, and just have to do it. I hope my nerdish brain will help me out, though.
But my whole confusion started because it seems to me, that skinny-ideal is out of fashion and old. And fit really is the new skinny. :). Other than causing problems in my paper, I like it a lot :).
Anyway, I write more about the paper when I know what's it gonna be :)

Training was the other thing I was supposed to write about in these daily-updates. I woke up at 6am without an alarm clock to go running. So that part of life is fine :). Of course it was because of my new running shoes..and they're soo good :).

And eating was as it's supposed to be too. I'm probably not going to write exactly what I ate here every day - that could be a waste of exam-time, not keeping me on track. But I promise I'll be honest about it all the time :)

And I didn't plan to write about sleeping, but one of the rules for the assignment-writing time is, that I have to sleep at least from 23:00 - ca 07:00 and not longer than 09:00. So now I am going to go to bed and hope that I'll wake up smart and completely sure about what I am going to do with the exam, instead of staying awake and trying to figure it out right now (but my nerdish brain is really having a hard time with that decision)

So the first conclusion of this assignment:
Skinny ideal is not in anymore.

Keep myself on track (and the Paleo diet)

Heyhey!

Finally it is sunny outside and seems that the last snow is melting too, soon it's going to be nice and warm. and my birthday :).

Paskeferie last week went quite fast -  I spent a lot of time working, prepared for my 3-week assignment and from Thursday, had a long weekend. My cousin from Estonia came to visit me and so we had a nice time shopping, chilling and sightseeing here in Aarhus. Was so much fun :).

But now it is time to turn more attention to my 3-week assignment. It is supposed to be like a miniature Bachelor thiesis and we have 3 weeks (1-19th April) to do it.
A while ago, when I was going trough this blog to find inspiration for topic, I also noticed how it always seems to be that I am writing about some kind of assignment and exam, and then afterwards, just suddenly, about "getting back to shape" :D. Obviously, there is an (unmentioned?) connection.

To avoid turning into a unhealthy nerd this time, I have made a plan. I mean like a real plan for every day of these three weeks (and even further), where I wrote down how far should I be with my assignment, what other things I have to do that day (like go to work or grocery shopping (:D), Skype meetings etc), my training plans and even what I eat. The food plan is not very strict or precise, more just like a "buy these things now then eat that that that and that, then they'll be used before they go off and then buy that and that", but in all other ways the plan is made to be followed.
And to keep myself on track, I will, on most days, write down here
-what have I written to the assignment
-about training
-about eating
-about general wellbeing (:D)

So that's what I'll do.


Quite irrelevant for this post here, but when I hadn't yet decided for another theme for my assignment, I was thinking to write something about why popular diets seem to attract more people (and work better?) than the official health guidlines. And (without any research or back-up theories though), I think I've reached my conclusion.
It is not that all people are seriously believing that "this magic diet here will help you lose 8kg in 3 weeks" (or whatever), it is just the "identity" you get. Suddenly you are "on that diet" or following that diet, you have concrete and straight forward rules about what you can and can't eat and what you should and shouldn't be doing. You kind of have already made a decision about following the diet for some amount of time. And don't, therefore, have to decide again before every single mealtime or health activity. And then it all seems to be working. As long as you follow the rules. The thing is, just, that usually the rules are so strange and limiting, that it is very hard to follow them, and then people "get off the diets" and gain weight. However, it's quite clever - the memory of the whole experience will probably sound somethink like 'I lost 5kg on that diet, but then I failed, stopped the diet and gained the weight back", so the diet will still seem successful in itself, it was just the person who didn't follow it, that gained weight. So maybe another person would still be successful on it. And that's how all fad diets manage to keep on excisting.

Following official, scientific health information can be more complicated. One day some health scientist says that something is very healthy and on the next day someone else claims it might kill you or cause cancer. The information is quite confusing and often times even controversial. Therefore, a person should make some kind of decisions all the time - Do I believe that? Do I stay to what I thought it was? Do I start avoiding that thing?
And making these kind of decisions without actually having enough knowledge to make these decisions, is of course very difficult.

That's how I started thinking about the Paleo diet, and how it's just genius!
Basically, (who doesn't know yet), Paleo diet, aka the stone-age diet promotes living like people in the stone age: eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, berries, meat, fish etc, but no dairy, wholegrain or highly processed foods. (http://thepaleodiet.com/)

You see what I mean? Or not yet?
Basically, they have made up a diet. Have a catching "theory" and a matching name for that diet, to make it sound appealing (remember "The South Beach Diet", for example? :) - just a catching name, I'm not pointing at any other similarities) And to make more people follow it, they also talk about weight loss.

But the actual diet information and how one is supposed to eat on the diet, is taken from scientific sources. I claim, Paleo diet is a real healthy diet, that has just (in order to have everything a fad diet has to have?) taken a fancy name, and came up with some unneccessary rules:
How do you make someone who is eating healthy, to loose weight quite fast? - You make her consume less calories.
How do you make her consume less calories? - You exlude the most calorie dense foods and the foods highest in saturated fat.
Therefore: exlude breads, pasta, rice, potatoes and dairy products.

Of course people start losing weight when they eat less than they are used to. And think about it - how many times a day you eat a slice of bread, potatoes, rice, pasta, drink milk, put cheese on your food? On  Paleo diet you exclude all these, but other than that,  have quite a normal healthy diet. So without knowing, or knowing, but just doing it for other reasons (to "live like a stone man", rather than "to lose weight"), people consume a lot less calories.

So from my point of view:
Paleo diet is just like a regular normal healthy diet, and that is why it works. (-people feel better and loose weight.)
But in a way, it is just another (low-carb) fad diet. It has its name, its theory and its reasoning. It has a set of concrete straight forward rules, it gives one the "identity" of being on Paleo diet, people know that these are the rules they have to follow, so they won't get confused, and then the diet works. And as it is quite nutritionally balanced, people  manage to stay on it for a long time.
However, excluding wholegrain and dairy is completely unneccessary from a scientific point of view, and only necessary for the diet "identity" and to make weight loss more likely.
And this is why  I say it is genius.

...I wonder, if I'd name the normal healthy diet something cool, and then make one book to describe the basics of healthy eating, (and then maybe 1 cookbook with normal healthy foods and maybe 1 desert book or baking book, and then maybe some key holders or pens or notebooks or whatever things to "get for free when you order the book!") would I then became really rich and people really healthy? :P
seems so


But enough is enough. These were my thoughts about the Paleo diet.
Thoughts about "How can body ideals influence people's health beahviour in modern Western Society?" will be showing up in this blog during the next 3 weeks together with my eating-training plans. Meanwhile, I will just brag with my little early birthday present to myself :) :

xoxo

veery happy,

k

Take care or your friends :)

And just so you wouldn't get too carried away with the microwave cooking, I found this:

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/yourlife/food/diet-nutrition/2010-11-05-obese05_ST_N.htm

Not to, in any way, say, that people shouldn't be friends with obese people, but apparently obesity is socially contagious. This article is quite old, but newer research supports the statement.

So after being filled up with your microwave-meal-in-a-mug, go out excercising and take your friends with ;)

18 microwave meals

:) Just found this link here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/arielknutson/delicious-snacks-in-a-mug
that has 18 microwave recipies that look delicious :).

I am not saying they're healthy - to be honest, none of them really is, but I am saying that it is all about portion sizes. And as all these foods come in a cup and are ready in like 5 min, I think they're so cool :).

BUT I haven't tried to make any of them myself. I dont even have a microwave. So don't blame me if they'll end up more like that:

or that :D :

Good weekend :)

Kirsi

Good training, guys :)

In search for insipiration for my upcoming 3-week-assignment in school, that is something like a miniature bachelor thiesis, I was going trough my blog.
First of all I have to say I'm so sorry for the lack of grammatical correctness :D. I think the thng is I write so fast and want to say everything on the same time, and then end up missing letters or whole words or phrases and using the wrong words. It seemed to be quite difficult to understand from time to time.

But what I really noticed is, that the newer the posts the more serious or problematic they seem to be. It almost seems like from month to month I have become more serious and complaining about everything I find is not right. Maybe it is due to the fact that I usually write about the things I have been thinking about the most. And I think most about the things I learn in school. So the currenct "stress" semester and the one before - "obesity" maybe are just more serious.
So I just wanted to note that I am not all that..troubled..all the time, as I might sound in the latest posts :D.
I still think life is good and health is fun :). And hope so do you :).

Happy Sunday :)

opinion - post: What is wrong with the world

This post has to do with health, stress, emotions, society and the agent-structure debate. It is kind of the same thing I have been writing about before – what responsibilities, possibilities and expectations lie in an individual and which ones are more societal.

More precisely - I’ve been wondering about that if we say obesity is society’s fault and anorexia and other eating disorders are societies fault, then..how does that add up? Society is the same for so many people, but we still have under-, over- and normal weight people. That in itself proves that statement wrong. Or at least only partly true.

I see where these statements are coming from. We do live in a world where food is so readily available and it is easy to manage with very little physical activity. However, as it usually tends to be – the present ideal is the one most difficult to achieve - being skinny. This would demonstrate to other people that you are strong willed and have the time and the money to work out and to look good. 

???

Though (luckily) it seems that the skinny-ideal is changing too. There has been a lot of discussions about too skinny models for example. And hand-in hand with health promotion, the beauty ideal seems to be getting more and more fit. Another factor might also be that fashion industry is melting into the fitness world too -  if some years ago gyms were mostly places for old sweatpants, large t-shirts and sweat, then go take a look into any fitness centre now and you’ll see shiny bright colours, different shoes, tops, shirts, towels, water bottles, watches, socks etcetcetc. It is not even anymore that you go to the gym to train to then look better later, you go to the gym to look pretty while you’re there. Yeah, how ever it is, but it seems to be that the ideal nowadays is not to be just skinny, but to 

be fit.

From a health point of view that should be great, shouldn’t it? Being healthy is becoming an activity in itself, a thing to do. The problem is, that “a picture says more than thousand words” – and health is often judged merely based on looks. Therefore, large people feel bad about not fitting in; the “the more the merrier” type of people develop diseases like exercise dependence and eating disorders, and the “healthy” ones are so much focused on their health and maintaining it, that this might become unhealthy too. And cause stress.

Of course health promotion is necessary. But it seems to be that all the recommendations only reach the group of people who are listening to these kind of things - the ones who already focus on health, but not the ones who really need them. Therefore the unhealthy group is still unhealthy and the healthy ones might do too much.

A big problem is that by focusing so much on health, we see everything else as a disease. The prevalence of different diseases and even the number of diseases “available” is constantly increasing. And there is a pill almost against everything. If you can’t sleep – take a pill, if you can’t stay awake – take another pill. Think about it – medication is taking over our kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms. There are food supplements, vitamins, minerals, headache pills, pills that make your hair grow better, birth control pills, sleeping pills, stress and depression pills etcetcetc. Even normal everyday things and personal characteristics are often seen as diseases now –instead of being shy, one now has “social phobia” for example. And if there is already an “illness” like that, then of course there is a pill against it. Just take one and become everything you ever wanted!

Not surprisingly, all this can be very stressful. Therefore, we talk a lot about stress too. Everyone knows what stress is – even first graders often claim they are “stressed” and courses of how to avoid stress or how to cope with it are available for 6-year olds. Or even for babies! Of course, then it is more directed to the mother of the baby, but the focus is still on preventing your baby becoming stressed. Is that really not stressful in itself?

Whatever things come up in life, they seem to be treated as stressors or some things you have to “go trough”, that can potentially leave you a life-long trauma unless you “deal with it”. When not so long ago counselling was something more private and people seeing a psychiatrist were looked upon strangely, then nowadays nearly everyone gets some kind of counselling during a certain part of their life. This is “normal” now.

What worries me is that instead of seeing things as challenges and possibilities to improve, to achieve something and do what you couldn’t before, they are seen as stressors and possibilities to fail. And that’s where the agent-structure debate becomes important. How much of your life is determined by the society and how much can you actually do about it yourself? I don’t mean to sound mean, but aren’t we focusing too much on “loosers”?

Of course it is bad to lose a job or being left because of another woman for example. But there are also people getting promoted, finding new jobs, falling in love and so on… People who take chances and succeed. People who actually are the “agents” in their lives.
I think we focus too much on diseases and disorders and all challenges = risk of failure and every experience = likely stressor, and see us too much as a part of a structure. And that causes even more stress. Which is unhealthy and might lead to depression and then we get medication against depression and about million other medications for other things we then have, like insomnia and vitamin deficiencies for example.. And people do all this things to “be healthy”.

Of course people get low self-esteem and feel insecure if they are viewed as having so many disorders and diseases AND living in a world so full of different “threats”. And low self-esteem is obviously not helping the quality of life. And is a risk factor for developing real health issues like eating disorders or emotional eating. When people feel lack of control over other parts of their life, they often start controlling themselves, for example in eating or in training too much, just to feel that in some part of their life they still have control.
So in a way, I think, how we as society look upon certain things makes these things problems. Instead of dealing with problems, we are creating them.

And that was what was worrying me and now I got to write it down here. That was all I wanted to do and now my little stressor is gone.

:D.

Thanks and have fun J

Skinny bitches and fat cows

Oh my god. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDakFfLQDF4

Is it okay that even social activities and surroundings are according to the weight class? Body weight is so important that we don’t even look at the individuals inside and purely judge based on weight. Are we developing two opposing cultures – cultures of bodyweight?

Bigger people have separate parties, training sessions, meetings and fashion shows, just because the others make them feel not normal and bad, to “hate themselves” . It is almost like a war – people against people, fighting over the right to feel good about themselves.  I think just because there is more of them, and because the rich and successful people we usually hear about in social media, are amongst them; plus that they have authorities like doctors and health politics and fashion industry “backing them up”, the skinny ones are “winning” – dominating in the world, and it is a social norm to be skinny or normal weight. It is viewed as better, more right.

That also might be due to the different personality traits people of different weight classes usually have.  Whereas (going to the extremes) anorexic people usually have very high self-control and they are always trying to control things, feel  positive, doing the right thing, people with bulimia or binge eating disorder (overeating with or without compensating) tend to be more impulsive, have lower self control and usually feel that their behaviour is wrong. Then it’s only logical that the skinny ones are dominating. They feel happy and in control, and looking down on fat people makes them feel even more so. Overeaters, on the other hand, are more vulnerable and already in doubts about their behaviour. Also, it is not so easy to look down on fit people – they seem so happy and successful, in control, because we also live in a society where fit=beautiful=good. In a way body says everything about one’s physical characteristics and level of beauty, but also who one is inside.

But if the body is such a big part of the whole individual, then how come or why, does everyone else seem to have so much right to say how it should look or be? In the end, it is one’s own body. It IS oneself. So shouldn’t the decision of how it should look also be one’s own?  After all, we don’t go around promoting other individual characteristics like “happy is good, be more happy” (at least not so much after the hippies :D), making angry people feeling bad about themselves and even more angry. And we don’t have a “angry tax” or things like that. Somehow, it is only the body weight, that seems to be such a public interest.

I don’t know how to conclude this here. Are the cultures going to separate even more? Is it gonna be better? Worse? Is okay as it is?

I think we should just remember that body, beauty and personality are not all just one thing, and that people are not all similar nor can we divide them into precise categories. Just like beauty, health comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe we should all cool down a little bit on that topic and, once again, remember that mental health is also health. Maybe the big people should think consider if the discrimination in society really is that big or is it them experiencing and making it feel so; and by distancing themselves from people with smaller bodyweights, only making it a problem? And people of normal weight and good health should just continue what they’re doing but not turn so much attention to it? It’s like “being healthy” is an activity now, a thing to do. And apparently even such a big thing to do that sometimes it can cause so much stress that the amount of physical and psychological stress diminishes the benefits it would have and should have, making “being healthy” unhealthy. (I’ll write more on that some other time)

We spend so much time and effort on focusing on our bodies, that we don’t have the time to look around ourselves and see other people (like myself writing in last year concluding post that maybe I trained so much that I didn’t really leave enough time for my friends). We focus on ourselves and bodyweight and get stressed and depressed (“hating myself”), angry and are not nice to each other.
We should be friendly, happy and healthy instead. And maybe just a little bit hippie.
At least I am. J :D

Happy Thursday, everyone, have a nice weekend and be nice ;)

k.

Wintersleep ended

Heyhey!

I'm sorry there has been zero posts posted this year. I think I did fall to winter sleep. And I have been working on a post or a couple, but I am not quite sure what I think of these things yet and didn't want to write another confusing little thing. So I kept on waiting to make up my mind or conclude the thoughts so I could make statements. That's still not done, so I'll just post a little update meanwhile.

What's been going on:
First there was New Years Eve. That was cool.
Then there was a little bit time to kind of get started with the year, and begin to train more again after the celebrations. Then  on week 3 I had a 1-week-exam and I was working on the same time too. So there was very little sleep and training, very strange schedule and eating patterns and kind of low self-esteem not being sure if the exam, that was the cause of all these things, was even turning out good or not really.
Strange, but very true, that there is such a big difference between knowing what and how to do and actually doing it. I always keep talking about babysteps and taking things easy..But I think what happened was, that even though I made no new-years resolutions, I still planned to train and eat well and be very good at everything in 2013, and then when the exam came and took up all the time, even though just for a week, I already felt like a failure and lost the motivation. For everything.
Then week 4 was all free from school, just work. So while I was not at work, I felt like relaxing after that crazy exam week. Probably because of the loss of motivation for other stuff, I really enjoyed staying home, watching movies and reading books, or going out with friends and being so tired afterwards that stayed home some more and read some more books. I did take walks and stuff as well, but other than that no training. And I was also trying to figure out where to do my work placement (the part that I am not doing in Estonia) and what masters degree I would like to take. But that seemed confusing and stressful as well.

Then the school started again and I was really looking forward to it. I also started running again and going to the gym at school. However, it wasn't quite as cool as I expected. School schedule was like 2 days at school, 5 off, 1 at school 3 off; first my knee, then my hip started hurting from running so I couldn't run anymore and then it was, again, just working and doing that internshipfinding thing (sitting by my computer checking facebook every two minutes :/) . I was also applying for jobs. But getting back these "no thanks but good luck searching for something else" - e-mails was not fun either. So it seemed that if there's no school, no training and just working, then I can at least spend time with friends. The problem is, that if I am not happy about myself I usually feel in a way being bad for my friends as well.

But what was really cool at that time was that me and my brother were writing this book for my mum for her birthday. We wrote down some funny childhood memories and added photos and made it to a real book. My mum was so happy :).

When the book was done, I traveled to Estonia for a week. That was soooo good :). Seeing my family and friends, just chilling in my mother's nice apartment, being at home, mum's party...it was SO good. :). And mother know's what's good for children - I got my mum's prettiest bag that I have been in love with forever.

So now I'm back in Denmark and feel all motivated, happy and as if I can do anything and everything, having that bag.
I got a very good grade for the exam, found a new job, or even two, have been doing well on my cross-fit machine imitating running but trying to save the hip, to get better, and I even have school about 4 times a week now. I know it might sound geeky, but it is much much better than two.

I like spring and life and everything that comes with it :).
The post I mentioned, I've been working on, is about stress and health and mental health, the world and society, and about me. It will be posted soon, no stress :)

So far, have fun and go outside, it's nice :)
I'll go to my new work now :P
k.